What Hurts The Most
Original artist Rascal Flats. I open my eyes when I hear a pattering noise above my head. I find myself in the warriors' den, a large pine tree with branches that hang low, which creates the den. It's raining, and sometimes a few drops escape the clumped branches and hit us warriors. Fernheart is sitting up, glaring at the sky as rain drops down into her nest. I want to purr with amusement, but I haven't since that day. I can take the rain on the roof of the empty house That don't bother me I shove myself to my paws and out of the den, hearing Fernheart growl with confusion. I'm not in the mood to sleep; the rain is too much of a reminder of that day. I let my paws carry me wherever they wish, so long as it isn't to that clearing. I sigh with grief when I realize that's exactly where I'm going. My heart aches too much for me to protest, so I let my head hang as I walk there. I can take a few tears now and then And just let em' out I'm not afraid to cry Every once in a while Even though going on with you gone Still upsets me I don't want to continue. I don't want to stay down here, when he's who-knows-where. I don't want to stay in the Clan, when I know the things I do and they don't. Sometimes I come close to spilling everything. But he wouldn't want that. There are days Every now and again I pretend I'm okay But that's not what gets me My Clan gets upset with me if all I do is sit around and mope. They don't know what's wrong, they only know there's something bothering me. And they start to ignore me when I don't speak for a few days. So every so often I act as if everything's ok. I go on patrol, I hunt, I wrestle with friends, I share tougnes, I eat. But that's not everyday. Nothing gold can stay, right? What hurts the most Was being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away I can smell lilies, and I look up to see that I've gotten to our clearing. The lily scent comes from the pond that sits in the dead center; water lilies swirl around on the glasy surface. The moonlight twinkles on the smooth stones under the water. The sight of the little clearing used to take my breath away, but now, my throat closes up and my vision blurrs. And never knowing '' ''What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do Only after Nightfoot died did I realize I loved him. Did I realize that little Dustkit and Frostkit weren't just an accident. I sigh with regret; when our kits had been born, we thought... well, we thought they weren't supposed to be. So I gave them to his Clan, and another queen raised them. Nightfoot's Clan thought he had found them in the forest. It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you But I'm doin' it It's hard to force that smile When I see our old friends Still harder Gettin up Gettin dressed Livin with this regret Of course I regret what I did to him, what I did to our kits. I stare out at the pond through the rain, and I can almost see his shiny white pelt swimming through it. We used to race in that pond. And then the day that Nightfoot was killed comes flooding back to me. But I know that if I could do it over I would trade Give away All the words that I saved in my heart That I left unspoken We were in our clearing, a night like any other. We were sheltering from the rain under a large boulder that sat beside the pond; we'd dug out a small den for ourselves. Then, we heard a loud caterwhaul. At first, we weren't sure that we had heard a cats' yowl. Then, about four large cats exploded into our clearing, nostrils flaring, eyes gleaming in the weak moonlight. Me and Nightfoot had cowered together, hoping they wouldn't see us. They were almost gone when a large brown tom yowled "Here's a few!" They all came pounding over to us. Nightfoot darted in front of me and snarled, but we were horribly outnumbered. We fought for as long as we could, and then I heard an agonized yelp. The four rouges untangled themselves from us and bolted away. I knew before I saw him what the attackers had done to my poor Nightfoot. What hurts the most Was being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away I walked slowly to his side. Blood matted the fur of his chest; there was a small but deep gash in his throat. I knew that no cat could save him. I wailed miserabley and dropped to his side, stiffening every time he gasped or struggled for breath. I stroked his shoulder soothingly as his breathing began to slow. He lifted his head weakly to stare into my eyes. Agony made them darken, and I knew what he wanted me to do. But I couldn't. "Kill me," He whispered. "Put me out of me misery." I wanted to end this pain for him. But kill Nightfoot?! "Do it," He croaked again. "I love you!" I wailed. He nodded once and whispered "I love you too." Then I stiffened and drove my claws into his throat. He jerked painfully once, then relaxed and slumped over. "Nightfoot! No! I didn't mean it!" I dropped to his side, but his breathing had stopped. "Come back to me!" And never knowing '' ''What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do I can almost hear the rouges' yowl from that night. See Nightfoot's blood being washed away with the rain. Can almost see his amber eyes cloud as I tore the life from him. My head slumps and a wail of grief tears from my throat. Frostkit and Dustkit would never be able to look at Nightfoot as their father. Only a Clanmate. I raise my head and stare at the boulder as a flash of white catches my eye. What hurts the most Was being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing '' ''What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do The flash of white was a tuft of fur. At first, I think it could be any cats fur, and I go to throw it into the pond. Then a very stale and very faint scent tickles my nose, and I whimper. Nightfoot's fur. Not seeing that loving you That's what I was trying to do I curl up under the boulder, sheltering from the rain, with Nightfoots fur brushing my flank. The way it's supposed to be. Hope you enjoyed! Category:Songfic Category:Stargaze's SongFic's